I had the opportunity to preach in February at The Seacoast Vineyard in Myrtle Beach . Here is the video of the service. Let me know your thoughts and questions.
If I can serve you in coaching, consulting or training let me know
Roy King (age 65)
Married to Pandora since 1976.
Two adult married children and three grandchildren
American Church – Pastor of Mission, Senior Pastor
Seminary – 27 years as Professor of Leadership at CIU and Staff in Development, Financial Aid and Alumni
Non-Profit Organizations – Cru, Billy Graham Center, MTI board member, Streams of Living Water
Contribution: Leadership Coaching, Organizational Consulting, Adult Training for 30+ years / 10 countries
Primary Function: Launch a new work, Rework a declining or plateaued work, Self-Leadership Coach
I am sure the churches you are part of never face conflicts, divisions, or confusion. Well, the ones I have been a part of sure have some of these challenges.
I believe Jesus is not surprised when the church he is building encounters and creates problems. I also believe the Spirit placed some hope for how to move through these problems.
Here is a sermon where I attempt to look at First Corinthians as a guide given by Paul, the church planter, to a church now four years old and struggling with painful divisions and struggles.
There is HOPE. But like going to a doctor when we are in pain the path of healing requires getting beyond the symptoms to the root cause and then addressing this source.
I WOULD WELCOME YOUR COMMENTS AND QUESTIONS
I have borrowed ideas from several books on healthy team culture to create this simple four letter way to practice listening and valuing people. Maybe it will inspire you to think about what values and atmosphere you want to cultivate around you.
Put these four letters up in a poster on the wall where teams meet. The key is people feeling they have permission to call a time out for something they need. If a person abuses the system and paralyzes the work — take them aside privately and set some limits on the use.
S — Safe — Something was just done or said that has triggered fear in me. I can’t be a good team member if I am protecting myself from a possible wound. I need to describe what makes me feel unsafe without attacking anyone.
O — Oriented — Maybe my caffine ran out! Or I missed the last meeting and did not receive notes to get up to speed. I need to get my bearings. I need clarity.
A — Ask — Something we are discussing or a presentation just made does not seem to give me enough information. Can you tell me more? Why are we considering this action or change in direction? Can you help me understand the What? or the How? of what we are examining?
P — Praise or Pray — Can we take a moment to give God praise or thanksgiving? Can we pray to seek God’s perspective in this issue? This is great! We need to pause and thank and appreciate those who invested and sacrificed to make this happen!
Give me your thoughts!
I had the opportunity to preach Sunday August 11 at Seacoast Vineyard Church in Myrtle Beach, SC. Pandora and I share briefly about our work in the Arab world and then I preached.
The main idea: Change will always result in loss and all losses must be grieved.
What is the first instance of grieving in the Bible? See Genesis 6:6.
What is God’s purpose for giving us the coping skill, a means of grace in grieving?
Here is a link to the entire service. May God use it so his church grieves with hope!
All of my problems are relationship problems. Usually they revolve around how I use my words. A CIU alumnus, Paul Tripp, offers great insights on our words in his weekly devotional.
“There’s an amazing proverb that Eugene Peterson translates: “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.“ (Proverbs 18:21, The Message)
How do you use words to “give life“ to your friendship? Does it mean that you quote Scripture incessantly? Should you continuously point out the sin in others? Are you allowed to talk about sports or the weather?
There’s probably no better guide about how to talk with friends than Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (ESV)
This verse, and all of Scripture, doesn’t give us a pre-approved vocabulary list to use or avoid; instead, it teaches us how to speak with a biblical agenda. There are three aspects of that agenda:
Consider The Person
“…only such as is good for building up…”
Gospel-centered communication is always other-centered communication. The Apostle Paul says I should never say anything to a friend that is not helpful for them. My words must not be spoken from a self-centered agenda where I am seeking to establish my will in the friendship, but spoken from an ambassadorial agenda, where I seek to be part of what the King is doing in the life of my friend.
Consider The Problem
“…as fits the occasion…”
Before I speak, I must think about what my friend is struggling with and what they most need at the moment. Do they need encouragement, comfort, hope, direction, wisdom, courage, rebuke, warning, forgiveness, patience, teaching, correction, thanks, insight, a job description, or something else? My words must be shaped by an awareness of their need.
Consider The Process
…that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Gospel-centered communication is not just about the content of my words, but how they are spoken. Often I choose to say the right thing, but in the wrong way or at the wrong time. Confronting a teenager five minutes before they leave for school is not helpful, even if the content is accurate. Rebuking a friend for an offense in front of others is not beneficial, even if they need to be confronted. Asking your spouse to consider how they hurt you as they are trying to get to sleep might not be the best time, even if you do need to reconcile.
Here is what we all must remember: God has a bigger agenda for our friendships than we do. These relationships are designed to be workrooms for redemption, not shelters for human happiness.
What do your words reveal? Are you settling for your own definition of personal happiness when God’s purpose is nothing short of conforming us to the image of Christ?
If we are ever going to give grace when we talk, we need grace to free us from our bondage to ourselves so that our words may be liberated to be used by God.”
Will I live with a daily awareness of how potent God has created my words to be? He uses words to create our world, and communicate his heart and truth to us. Jesus is logos “the Word”. We bear God’s image as word empowered creation.
I have two types of words — internal (my inside talk in my head) and my external words (using my physical vocal organs to spew words into the world). Both types need to be under the rule of God’s Spirit. Godly words come from a humble surrender to hold my words, think before I speak, restrain the timing, and examine my motive behind my words.
HOW IS GOD RESHAPING YOU BY RESHAPING HOW YOU USE WORDS? LET ME HEAR FROM YOU.
Jerome Daley is my life coach. He trained and certified me in life coaching in 2012. We have become good friends and here is my response to his most recent blog .
Dear Jerome, I often hold anything from you until I have time to read it slowly and savor it. Your post on Gentle was a refreshing moment with Jesus this morning. Thank you.
My new thought was to take 1 Cor 13:4-8 — here they are from the Message
So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,
”Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,But keeps going to the end.8-10
Love never dies.
The new thought for me was to reflect on how God loves me — He models and gives this kind of love to me…. Enduring, humble, not keeping score on my sins, doesn’t play win/lose, takes all my rejection and betrayals with my idols, sees me in my best — dressed in Jesus righteousness, doesn’t drag my past up to me, keeps nudging me ahead to the end goal for the reward he has for me — Life. I need to receive His love for me every day.
I am going to share the daily examen you shared by pdf with a coaching client I will meet via video chat at 30 minutes. Better get off and get ready — what a gift you are to me.