Do We Operate Out of Who God Declares Us to Be in Christ?

The life as a Jesus follower is a journey from being declared with right standing before God to experiencing the reality of our new identity in Christ.  Anxiety about the past failures, or the future unknowns, fear of the present challenges, a sense of weakness and uncertainty are all rooted in a lack of living in our identity in Christ.

Suggestion:  CLICK HERE AND DOWNLOAD A PDF.  This is a list of statements and Bible passages on Who We Are In Christ by John Stumbo.  Take the first statement.  Read the passage 3 times very slowly.  Then, in your journal record your answer to this question.  “If this truth was guiding my life today how would I see differently?”

Let me know your thoughts.  Let’s live out of what we believe in 2018!

Highly Recommended Book — by Reggie McNeal KINGDOM COME: Why we Must Give Up our Obsession with Fixing the Church — and What We Should Do Instead

Reggie’s newest book is a practical theology on the Kingdom of God.  He clarifies the relationship between the kingdom and the church in the biblical drama of God’s redemption story.  In the second half he lays out examples and concrete strategy for the people of God (i.e., the church) to live for Kingdom values and influence that entices others to become Christ the King followers.

And Jesus taught us to pray….”your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth at it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:10

“Jesus wants us to pray for, deeply desire, and dedicate ourselves to seeing the Kingdom as it operates in heaven made visible  and active in our daily experience here on earth.” (pg. xiv)

“The purpose of the church is to further God’s kingdom.” (pg. xx)

“…the key to church renewal lies in anchoring the mission and purpose of the church in the biblical teaching of what it means to be the people of God.” (pg. 4)

CLICK HERE TO BUY ON AMAZON

The Person/s Supervising Me are Not Leading Me Well. What Should I do?”

THE Critical Question for you to answer, “Can I trust the character/heart of the person/s over me even when I have good reason to not trust their competence in handling the situation we are facing?”

If you answer, “No” to that question; pray and ask God if you should leave the position.  The Bible warns of the danger of leaders with corrupt character creating a wake of destruction.  OR …At least know how to pray and be very cautious.

If you answer “Yes” realize that the poor exercise of competence can still sink the organization, wound people including you, and generally make a mess.  The lack of or poor communication or a hundred other poorly executed skills related to leading, managing and empowering others still spells poor supervision.

BUT

Skills can be learned and practiced and improved in many cases if a supervisor is humble and teachable.

SO — what do you think and do?

Think — I should not assume that someone over me knows how to lead me well.  Your supervisor/s are not mind readers and often do not have a good feel of what you need to carry out your responsibilities.  They are too concerned about their own work to know yours well.  They often hired you to do what they do not have time or desire to do.

Do  —  Inform the supervisor/s what you need to be empowered and effective in your responsibilities.  List your vital contributions to the organization.  Then describe what you need now or in the near future to be effective.  Sit down and discuss the list — even when it includes items such as, “Limit surprises that disrupt my day or week… they confuse my priorities and push me out of clarity into crisis reaction.” Be honest but realistic about the nature of the workplace.  Lead UP the way you want to be addressed by someone UNDER you.

ALSO — 

Remember that you work FOR them.  Do not assume that you know their preferred work language.  Ask questions and then be diligent to lay down your own preferences, if necessary, to use their language.  WHAT IS A WORK LANGUAGE?

Examples of questions that uncover work language or style?

  1. How do you prefer to communicate?  (face to face planned meetings, as you walk by, e-mail, text, phone, etc.,)
  2. How do you prefer to address conflict? (write up summary and then ask to meet to follow-up, over lunch, etc.,)
  3. How do you prefer to evaluate results? (standard reports of benchmarks, surveys, daily tasks accomplished, etc.,)
  4. How do you prefer to handle personal non-work issues in my life? (leave it at home, let’s have coffee, at weekly meeting, etc.,)

Bottom Line — We are ALL developing competence in leading UP to those over us and DOWN to those under us.  Stay humble and ask this question, “What am I doing that is making your job more challenging or difficult?” Then listen, act on what you hear and follow up in a few weeks to see if you have improved.

WHAT IS HELPING YOU TO LEAD UP OR LEAD DOWN?

How do I deal with fears when I get up to teach or preach?

Get there early… lay your stuff down at the front… walk around and greet people.  Shake hands and ask questions to hear some of their stories… “what they do, why they are here today”, just connect.  Get your mental focus off of your self and do not even mention you are a speaker unless they pick up on it.
15 min before .. get alone. Ask the Spirit for his words in your heart, and breathe in through nose and out through mouth slowly and deeply 5 to 6 times as you pray….
What Has been helpful for you?

Two Good Books for Summer Reading!

If you are a Father with a son who is, or will soon be, a young adult read the conversations between John and Sam Eldredge in Killing Lions.  (Click Here to Purchase from Amazon)

One of the great contributions are the quotes and lessons they share from their own reading.  So our Leadership Training Group decided to read the novel they mention a few times.  One of the fellows mentioned this week that this novel was one of the best books we had read together this year.  So let me also mention a good pool side read… THE ALCHEMIST — story of a shepherd’s journey to find the treasure of the heart.  (Click here to purchase from Amazon)

SHARE YOUR SUMMER READING SUGGESTIONS IN COMMENTS BELOW!

 

 

How to Know God’s Will — for your next chapter!

I used to think KNOWING GOD’S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE was a topic for 20 somethings.  Well at 60 I still find myself asking God what assignment he has for me.  What will I be when I grow up?

Father,  What am I supposed to “PRUNE”?  Where and how much am I  “SOW NEW SEED”?  Those are the only two ways I know we can be fruitful — pruning and sowing… fail to do some of both and you lose fruit capacity.

In May 2012 I was coming out of a medical adventure that had started with over 7 days in ICU and led to months of rehab and therapy.  Some of my friends and my wife think I am still brain damaged… :{)  But that May I was seeking to determine what God would have for my next chapter.  I recently found the notes from a lunch with three wise friends — John Davidson, Harold Weaver and Robertson McQuilkin.  They let me ask questions and tell my story over our meal and then they shared from their experience.  I was writing notes as quickly as I could and failed to note who gave each insight.  But I am sure they do not mind sharing credit.

I have read these notes over in prayer several times since 2012 and now thought it might be good to share them with others.  I believe all of us have multiple chapters to our “book of life”.  You may gain some wisdom for reflecting on what God would have for your next one in these words from my friends.

GOD IS JUST AS INVOLVED IN MY LIFE WHETHER I RECOGNIZE IT OR NOT.

MY KNOWLEDGE WAS NOT THE KEY.  GOD WAS WORKING OUT HIS PLAN. MY HEART BEING COMMITTED TO HIM WAS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY KNOWING THE PLAN OR STEPS.  JUST REST IN KNOWING THAT HE IS LEADING.

OUR VISION WILL ALWAYS BE CLEARER OVER OUR PAST.  OUR FUTURE WILL ALWAYS BE UNCLEAR TO US BUT OUR FUTURE IS JUST AS CLEAR TO GOD AS OUR PAST.

ENJOY A SENSE OF PEACE IN THE UNCERTAINTY OF THE TRIP.  JUST KEEP YOUR HEART CENTERED ON JESUS.

LOOK FOR THREADS IN YOUR MINISTRY.  THESE ARE COMMON THEMES, PEOPLE, PASSIONS, AND CAUSES THAT COME UP OVER AND OVER; OFTEN IN VARIOUS FORMS.

JUST DO THE RIGHT THING WITHOUT KNOWING THE OUTCOME.

FORMS AND METHODS OF MINISTRY CHANGE.  THE CONTENT OF YOUR MINISTRY IS MORE STABLE.  GOD WILL OFTEN GIVE YOU DIFFERENT WAYS TO REVISIT, REFRESH OR PACKAGE IT.

THE what MAY NOT BE CLEAR BUT KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE who YOU ARE GIVING YOUR HEART TO FOLLOW.

BE EXCITED ABOUT THE BEING ON THE UNKNOWN.

GO WITH YOUR GIFTED PASSION AND AVOID ENERGY DRAINS.  THIS IS OFTEN EASIER TO DO AS YOU GET OLDER AND HAVE A MORE ESTABLISHED PLACE TO STAND.

INCREASE YOUR COMFORT LEVEL TO SAYING, “NO!”.  LIVE GUILT FREE TO FOCUS.  MOST FRUIT COMES FROM FOCUSED INTENTIONAL EFFORT.

THERE ARE NECESSARY ENDINGS.

SOME PEOPLE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR CHOICES.  DON’T LOOK FOR CONFIRMATION FROM AFFIRMATION.

Can you add to my list my friends gave me?

How God Teaches in Times of Fear, Loss & Pain by Mark & Roy King

REFLECTIONS FROM DAD BEING IN ICU

MARK KING w Reply from Roy King

INTRODUCTION:

My son, Mark,  recently sent me some thoughts he recorded a few years back which he found in cleaning up his Google Drive.  They are his honest processing of an event that took place in my life in November 2011 that included over a week in ICU, then a few days in a step down unit and then more days in a rehab facility followed by almost two years of outpatient physical therapy.   My medical adventure stemmed from a very serious reaction to a blood pressure medicine I had taken for several years.  After reading Mark’s thoughts I have written a reply to him which follows his reflections.  — Roy King 4/07/15

MARK KING:

ICU smells funny. I have spent a little over a week watching my father lie in a bed. There are cables and tubes everywhere. Sometimes I worry that my size 13 shoes are going to hook around my dad’s catheter, loosely attached to the bottom of his bed, and tear it out; sending two liters of stale pee gushing too the floor. This week I have a done a lot of worrying, a lot of waiting, a lot of trying not to acknowledge my worries and fears, a lot of getting upset with nurses that don’t seem to be moving quickly enough, a lot of being annoyed with doctors that never come by and a lot of thinking about my family. My life this week seems summed up best by the following list:

  1. Go to hospital and wait. Try to use phone to look at comics for sale on ebay.
  2. Wait some more and greet all of Dad’s co-workers and church friends. This involves me  trying to be nice as someone else offers to pray and I have to hold their hand.
  3. Wait for answers that never come quickly enough.
  4. Go find fast-food.
  5. Go back to hospital and wait. Try to stream netflix which is blocked by the free wifi at the hospital. Hulu works but as usual, nothing good is on.
  6. Go home and dream about hospitals and funerals.
  7. Repeat

As I am trying to process what it means to see my father in a hospital, I keep coming back to three thoughts.

  1. Lists are stupid. I don’t ever want to live my life going by a list.
  2. My greatest fears are steeped in losing people I love.
  3. Waiting makes you think.

I know that these three thoughts seem random and overly simple, but they keep running around over and over and over and over and over in my mind. I think they tie together and might be a piece of what God is trying to show me this year.

Let’s go backwards:

  1. Waiting makes you think.

I have had a lot of time to wait. I am naturally not good at waiting. Just ask my wife how I am with Christmas presents. November 25th is just as good as December 25th. I have tried to distract myself in every way possible while waiting on my dad. I go do the the meal runs for my sister and mom. I roam around the hospital and ride the elevator. I download applications on my phone and then delete them. I even played a game with myself where I would try to find a different bathroom every time I needed to go. Hospitals have a million bathrooms and none of them are clean. The point is that despite my high propensity to find joy in distraction, there was just too much waiting. Eventually I had to think.  My thoughts, which I had been really trying to avoid led me straight to where I knew they would go. My worries and fears.

Some of my fears are stupid and some I won’t even give voice to because they might overwhelm my entire being.

  1. My greatest fears are steeped in losing people I love.

This week I feared that I might loose my dad. This week I feared that I might have to spend another week or two in the ICU looking at him hooked up to tubes, watching him move from looks of extreme pain and discomfort to looks of raw fear and confusion born from heavy sedation and a ventilator. This week I feared that might not have been the best son I could be. This week I feared that I would see my mother, who is the strongest woman I know, break down.

This is where the blessing comes in. It is in the fears and worries that are wrapped around my heart and brain that I was reminded of how much I love my family. The love I have for my wife and parents and sibling, is a love that is deep and real, the thought of separation from that love is one of my greatest fears. I think that sort of love must be the love that Jesus talks about when he sums up the second greatest commandment,

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

As I think about it, that same love, that I first experienced from my parents, I can now not only reflect back to them, but also to my wife and some friends. My father and mother were the first two people on this planet to love me in a truly second commandment way. No wonder the thought of being disconnected from that is so scary. It’s also amazing to think that through their love and the love of God I learned how to love others.

  1. Lists are stupid. I don’t ever want to live my life going by a list.

This waiting that led to thinking about my fears leads me to my last thought. Lists are dumb. I want to stop thinking about life in terms of lists and focus instead on thinking about my life in terms of who I care about. Do I get to spend today being loved by God and loving him? That’s a great day. Do I get to love my wife today? Count that as a highly productive day. If I truly believe that the two most important things are the love of God and loving others then my true focus and measuring rod of success for a day should be did I get to receive and give love today?

I want my life to be surrounded by what I truly care about.

If I, when lying in a hospital, wake up to find money, security, a completed check list, a well organized calendar full of finished meetings and neatly crossed off successful programs but have not love, I have missed the greatest gift both my earthly and heavenly fathers have given me.  

reply from Dad — ROY KING:

Mark,  How can I thank you for this gift.  Mom and I have read it but I was afraid to bring it up when I saw you recently.  I did not think I could make eye contact with you to respond to your words in a group setting of church and Easter without breaking down and crying in front of others who would not understand.

I cry even as I work on this written reply because:

— You honestly describe me during those days and yet I have no memory of the events.  I feel I somehow was present but lost out on the experience.  I don’t want to be choosing to drift through time with loved ones — being in the room but not really present — now that I am out of ICU

— I feel your pain, confusion and great love in your words — it is a tender place in your heart and it feels like you opened a gate to a quiet hidden garden  in your soul and invited me in.  Thank you…

— I am so thankful we worship a God big enough to take dark moments and bring good lessons and growth in our lives through it.  I don’t talk as much about those days as I did the first year after they happened but there are few days that go by that they do not come into my thinking at some moment in my day.

— Since my adventure in ICU, hospital and rehab I have observed that I still get weird almost panic type feelings when I go to visit someone in those settings.  I have been back to Providence and other hospitals and even visited Steve Bradley who was just down the hall from my room at Health South.  I almost have to push my feet forward and it feels like the air is leaving the room.  BUT — I think it makes me a better visitor.  I listen more, ask a few questions and don’t hold hands when I pray… and I keep it short.  Not sure if that will fade or even I want it to evaporate.

— I am deeply touched and cry every time I read your perspective on your Mom and our attempts to be loving parents.  Somehow seeing my wife and our role as parents through your eyes felt very rewarding and satisfying.  So often all I can see are my mistakes.  And I agree with your respect and view of Mom’s strength — but wonder if my view is colored by my deep love for her.  I heard Jesus whisper to me as I read your words, ” See Roy what a treasure you have been given in Pandora… and rest in peace in joy — you have loved your children well — not perfectly for sure — but you did it well.”  O God that feels good.  I so rarely see anything in my life as having been lived well. (A mark of my own sin and pride I am sure).  But my tears were deep tears from a choked up heart feeling — my son knows I love him — I can die in peace whenever it is my God’s time.

I WOULD WELCOME YOUR COMMENTS TO OUR REFLECTIONS