Coaching, Leadership, Questions Coaches Hear

Daily Challenges Leaders Face

TACKLING CHALLENGES BY LEADING PEOPLE WELL

Roy King, April 2022

What do leaders do when individuals, departments or teams under them are STUCK? Every day organizational leaders face the challenge of investing their energy wisely to keep people engaged and accomplishing work vital to the mission. Leaders must root out paralysis or people wasting their work on low priority busy work.

The first step is to surface 3 to 5 specific challenges limiting the effectiveness of the work. Are these people problems? Are they organizational problems? Every challenge often has a single or combination of simple root problems which can be addressed once they are clearly identified.

Based on my experience the answers are found by considering these 4 root causes. I have listed them according to the frequency of this being a root problem. Leaders serve the people they lead by helping them diagnose and then addressing what is hindering them from being fruitful in their work.

Is this a relational breakdown? People lack UNITY.
1. Are they expected to compete or to collaborate?
2. Are they a team with a history of working together or do they require assistance building trust and understanding each person’s strengths?
3. Is there unresolved conflict, hurt and disappointment polluting the environment?
4. Do they need understanding and models of relating with both grace and truth?
Is there a lack of providing certain resources? People lack EMPOWERMENT.
1. What decisions can they make to acquire resources without getting permission?
2. How do they get permission for additional resources beyond their level of permission?
3. Do they understand there is a shortage of additional resources and they will need to stir up a high level of creativity to meet the challenge with what is at hand?

Is this a lack of effective communication? People lack CLARITY
1. They need to know WHY we are attempting this work. They need a clear PURPOSE.
2. They need to know WHAT we are seeking to accomplish. They need clear GOALS.
3. They need to know HOW we will approach the work. They need the RATIONALE for the timeline and expectations.

Is this a system or structural problem? People are CONFUSED.
1. They lack a clear circle of personal RESPONSIBILITY AND understand the interplay of others ROLES and contribution.
2. How does their work IMPACT other departments or individuals?
3. Are they being asked to consider VOLUNTEERING to join the team or are they being ASSIGNED?

Does this article stir up questions or arouse a need for coaching to assist you in leading? Contact:

roymking@gmail.com // royking.org //

Coaching, Healthy Leaders, Questions Coaches Hear

Biblical Retirement

A New Chapter

RETIREMENT

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Introduction

I have heard some say that “retirement” is not in the Bible. I want to propose RETIREMENT may be a helpful designation if it is in alignment with a biblical perspective.

RETIREMENT may be a good descriptor if:

It is describing that all or some of my income is coming from funds set aside for support once we are no longer a full time wage earner.

RETIREMENT may be a good descriptor if:

We are able to take on responsibility, serve and contribute without limiting it to payment for services.

RETIREMENT may be a good descriptor if:

It frees me to embrace limits that include shorter working days and less stamina
It allows me to “prune” my engagements and accept responsibility aligning with my best contribution
One morning during my swimming therapy the Spirit whispered, “It is OK to slow your pace and increase your prayerfulness.”
My fruitful contribution to others depends on having margins for quality thinking time to advise, mentor and help solve challenges others are facing. Some of my best brain work takes place with my journal on the back porch with a cup of herb tea enjoying the flowers, the breeze and the variety of bird songs. I KNOW the quality of what I have to offer is much better than many of the meetings I sat in for years around a conference room table — rushed to get through an agenda.

RETIREMENT may be a good descriptor if:

I can monitor my energy and get consistent rest including a nap
I can work to slow the aging decay of the body with a focus on exercises to maintain, or even improve, (in alphabetical order) Balance, Cardio, Core Strength, and Flexibility

RETIREMENT may be a good descriptor if:

I can be content even if I deplete in energy quicker, and should stay off of high ladders or the roof.
I can be satisfied with eating a nice meal — taking smaller portions and not eating large meals close to bedtime.
I can work at praying for many people in my network of relationships and the church around the world — and have the time to send several of them a note of encouragement via phone call, text or email.
I am fine with buying less stuff and accumulating less weight of possessions.
I am very alert that time is the greatest treasure God gives me. I can only spend it once.
A nap after lunch with my young grandchild fills me with joy as we read a book and then snuggle up and “recharge our battery” joined in the bed with a stuffed animal or three and a car and fire truck.

RETIREMENT may be a good descriptor if:

I strongly believe God wants me to be vibrant and effective for His glory until my last breath.

Coaching, discipleship

Embrace the Biblical Tension

The Bible has many examples where God says there are two or more truths that must held in a tension. Often God’s truth is both/and nor either/or.

A journey with God begins when we fear God… A journey with God is discovering He is love.

No one comes to the Father unless drawn by the Father. We come to the Father as we believe in Jesus as our Lord who came to save us and offers us eternal life.

The Holy Spirit distributes spiritual gifts. I have a responsibility to steward and wisely invest all I have received. SO, where does my skills or talents begin and God’s gifting begins?

Here is a tension for everyone to reflect on and apply. I am personally responsible before God for my choices. God works in a life giving way to make my character more and more like Jesus. BOTH ARE TRUE.

Here is a quote for the personal responsibility side of this tension. Go back to the root of formation —- examining carefully your thoughts and beliefs.

“Watch your thoughts; for they become words.
Watch your words; for they become actions.
Watch your actions; for they become habits.
Watch your habits; for they become character.
Watch your character for it will become your destiny.” Frank Outlaw —

I welcome your comments!

What is Involved if You Are Coached by Roy?

What does Roy do as a coach?

EXPLORING – Usually a person is referred by someone I have coached or a close friend. We discuss how they see coaching assisting them. If they choose we go on to me sending a Welcome packet. I coach men and women.
The Welcome packet is in two parts (attached) The first one is my perspective on my role as a coach/mentor for them to keep and the second packet they complete and return to me.
HOW ROY COACHES (NO RETURN)
WELCOME PACKET (COMPLETE AND RETURN)
INTAKE SESSION – Once I receive their Welcome Packet we set a time for an Intake session which often takes 1.5 hours. At the end of that session we decide on a rhythm for coaching sessions.
Often we schedule sessions for 2x a month or 1x a month.
Sessions are held face to face or by video chat.
COACHING – Before the session the client sends me some questions or issues they desire to make the focus of the session. I prepared questions and resources I think may help.
During the session we pray, I take notes and the client digs deep for insights which address their areas of concern or growth.
After the session I type up the notes and add resources or ideas which surface as I reflect on the conversation. I store these notes in a secure folder on a cloud drive and send them to the client.
We usually evaluate once every 3 months if we need to continue.
FEE – No one is turned away. But if the client has resources available they often pay $150 per session or we set a rate based on their budget. If the organization is paying me to coach we receive $300 per session and travel expenses for one to two face to face visits in the client’s context. Every client receives unlimited email or short phone call support between sessions.
Every client receives the same services regardless of their ability to pay. I have some clients who continue to send gifts so they can help me serve those who cannot pay. I have some clients who cannot pay on a per session amount but will send a gift periodically as they have funds.
This table is current as of May 22. I have listed states or countries where the client resides and the number of active clients from there.

ACTIVE CLIENTS (MEET 1 OR MORE TIMES EVERY SIX WEEKS) STATE OR COUNTRY

1. Arizona 1

2, California 2

3. Egypt 2

4. Florida 1

5. France 1

6. Georgia 2

7. Illinois 2

8. Kentucky 1

9. New Zealand 3

10. Ohio 1

11. Pennsylvania 1

12.Phillipines 2

13. Rhode Island 3

14. South Carolina 14

15. Tennessee 1

16. Turkey 3

TOTAL AS OF 05/22/2020 39

WHAT ARE TOPICS FREQUENTLY COMING UP IN COACHING?

SELF – CARE – Need to carefully examine their walk with Jesus and develop intimacy and renewal.
LOSS – Processing losses through grieving
GOD’S WILL Discerning God’s assignment as they go through a major transition or change in life season.
RELATIONAL LOSS OF TRUST AND STRUGGLES Conflict resolution with family and/or other Christians
DEVELOPMENT OF PEOPLE PERSONALLY AND IN MINISTRY SKILLS Being more effective in helping others around them be effective and vibrant Christ followers.
BUILDING A PAID OR VOLUNTEER TEAM Staff assignments, searches and hires or terminations.
LACK OF OUTREACH AND DISCIPLE MAKING – How to help a plateaued or declining congregation
LACK OF CLARITY Correcting a drift in organizational mission

IF YOU WOULD TO SUPPORT OUR COACHING, MENTORING AND TRAINING WORK FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR DETAILS.

Coaching, discipleship

Be Gentle With Your Soul, God is…

Jerome Daley is my life coach. He trained and certified me in life coaching in 2012. We have become good friends and here is my response to his most recent blog .

Dear Jerome, I often hold anything from you until I have time to read it slowly and savor it. Your post on Gentle was a refreshing moment with Jesus this morning. Thank you.

My new thought was to take 1 Cor 13:4-8 — here they are from the Message

So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,

”Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,But keeps going to the end.8-10

Love never dies.

The new thought for me was to reflect on how God loves me — He models and gives this kind of love to me…. Enduring, humble, not keeping score on my sins, doesn’t play win/lose, takes all my rejection and betrayals with my idols, sees me in my best — dressed in Jesus righteousness, doesn’t drag my past up to me, keeps nudging me ahead to the end goal for the reward he has for me — Life. I need to receive His love for me every day.

I am going to share the daily examen you shared by pdf with a coaching client I will meet via video chat at 30 minutes. Better get off and get ready — what a gift you are to me.

Coaching, Healthy Leaders, Leadership, Uncategorized

“God Does Not Do Rabbit Trails”

20180813_174702 Pandora is one of my best wise counselors. During our time in Egypt we were discussing some opportunities to serve with some other ministries. We both agreed the new open doors fit in our focus for this chapter of our life. She shared with me, “Roy God does not do rabbit trails. We need to look for the convergence; how God is fitting these puzzle pieces together.”

That wisdom has set me reflecting before the Lord for his perspective on our life. Where do we sense God’s converging work? I see it as the Lord mixing baking dough. As he dusts the dough with a new ingredient he gently works the dough with his hands until it is consistently worked through.

For us the dough seems to have two primary ingredients; individual people and ideas. In the past month I have spent time with four different leaders in churches and ministries. After our time they would share how helpful the time was and how they had greater clarity for moving forward. YES! The Spirit showed up and used me to deliver some of what they needed. It is fun to deliver God’s mail.

The doors opening for Pandora use her rich background in special education but often branch off in other life on life conversations and burdens to pray for others.

In recent months I have received encouragement and opportunities to do some additional writing projects. Pandora is creating new presentations and also developing tools for consulting. It seems God is letting us share ideas from what we are learning here and overseas with the people who share our journey.

So — Convergence for us is quality time with individuals and capturing, distilling and sharing ideas.

How about you? What does convergence look like for your life? What needs to be pruned or started?

Coaching, Healthy Leaders, Leadership, Uncategorized

Accelerating Your Growth of Wisdom and Discernment

RoyAllBlacksTMay2010-e1295093522512 A common challenge for the Ministry Leaders and Business Executives I coach is how they can learn from their daily encounters and experiences. The art of reflection is often neglected in the push to add another meeting or another appointment to the day.

Yet I am often reminded of the words of my mentor Dr. Bobbie Clinton, “The number one reason leaders fail to finish well is they plateau.” They stop growing.

Here is a simple way to stay in a learning mode which will allow you to make better decisions and relate to the challenges and relationships in your life with wisdom and discernment. You must create the space by hitting the pause button and reflecting on a short period of time. Once a week will not work. Too much is forgotten and goes stale before you can gain from it. Instead install a “startup” and “shut down” rhythm to your day. Here is a suggested pattern I use. It has been refined over the years as I borrow ideas from other leaders.

A PRACTICAL TOOL TO HELP REFINE, STRETCH, and CORRECT YOUR PERSPECTIVE:
The shutdown ritual should be they last commitment in your work day. Set the appointment with yourself in a quiet area. The same technique is very helpful as a recovery and buffer pause to capture key learnings after a messy challenging encounter.

SHUT DOWN APPOINTMENT WITH YOURSELF:
(10 to 30 minutes) at the end of each work day or right after a strategic meeting.

Use a consistent tool to capture your thoughts as you examine your day. Consistent capture tools may be 3×5 cards, a written journal or private document online.

QUESTIONS TO ASSIST YOU IN REFLECTION:

What did I see today about individuals with whom I had interaction?

What did I see today about our culture? (NOTE PLUSES AND MINUSES)

What di I see about myself today?

What do I offer up in thanks to God?

What do I lay before God in confident faith he will provide the way forward?

How do we want people work together differently?

Based on what happened today what 3 things do I need to do tomorrow and what do I change in my daily plan for tomorrow to create space for these actions?

PART OF THE SHUT DOWN RITUAL IS TO RETURN THE GIFT OF THE DAY BACK TO THE ONE WHO GAVE IT TO YOU.
LAST ACTION BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR WORK DAY…

HANDS — PALMS DOWN ON DESK.

THANK GOD FOR LETTING YOU STEWARD THE DAY.

TRUST HIM FOR GRACE AND STRENGTH TO BRING FRUIT AND GROWTH FROM TODAY’S WORK FOR HIS GLORY. GIVE THE DAY BACK TO HIM.

Once you have the shutdown routine in your rhythm add a “start up” routine

When you first wake up in the morning turn on to your back and look up. Raise both arms with hands palm up to God.

A sample prayer could be: “Father thank you for the rest during the night and now you are offering me a new day to manage. Today is a (work day, play day, rest day, family day, etc., define the major purpose for this day). You have gifted me with this day. Help me to be a good steward and invest it for eternal reward.”

Caution yourself to not pollute the day. If it is a work day don’t lose focus and waste time tracking your teams online. If it is a rest day do not pollute it with work. You get the idea.

Now begin a “perspective” and “getting current” mini-retreat

Read David Allen’s GTD – Getting Things Done book for an excellent overview of a weekly check in. To his words I would add these ideas. In a period of a storm of major changes you need this mini-retreat once a week. Let me suggest you set aside 1/2 of a day to fast, pray, rest, and look back over the recent days by reviewing your daily shut down notes and review your commitments to see if you have not drifted off course.

If you are not in a storm of change you may be able to do the mini-retreat every 4 to 6 weeks.

CONCLUSION
The most important person you lead is yourself . Poor decisions are made in a reactive rather than reflective mode. It requires discipline to engage in a time of pausing and reflecting which creates space for your thinking and feeling to get to an inner quiet and hear from God. Those who seek him and his wisdom do grow and develop confidence and contentment in their leadership.

Coaching, Healthy Leaders, Questions Coaches Hear, Uncategorized

The Power of a Good Coaching Question

DrRoyKing_6 One of the ministries God has assigned to me for this chapter of my life is to coach congregational and non-profit ministry leaders. After a recent appointment I was reflecting on what I had contributed. I recalled what the person had validated as being very helpful. I wrote in my journal to remind me to work at getting better at offering effective coaching, “Be very careful to translate inspired intention into concrete action.”

It is so easy to get excited and enjoying being flush with new thoughts and energy that only spin in one’s head or verbally spew out to those around us but fails to answer the questions, “So what are the next 2 to 3 steps that you need to take?” and “When will you begin these actions?”

Change only occurs as we act on our intentions. Faith in the power of God’s Spirit requires we risk; step out.

What has God made clear and stirred up desire to see occur? What is you next action needed? WHEN will you begin?