This is perhaps the most transparent and vulnerable material I have ever shared.  May God use it to encourage you.


I am 67 years old.  In my 20s and 30s I consumed articles, books and speakers concerning HOW TO KNOW GOD’S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE.  I dreamed of discovering a map, God’s treasure map for my life.  I thought the map would answer all questions and make decisions of what to do very simple.

Going into my 40s I gave up the search for the one right answer and moved more into seeing being at a crossroads with options, a special moment to discern the God pleasing choice for each major turn in my life.  So the next 20 years became a series of memorable moments of solving a puzzle which came about whenever there were directional opportunities. Some answers were yes some no and some waited for a later stage of life.

In my 60s I have become more focused on being with God in worship with clarity on choosing how to contribute flowing from keeping a God focus.  Let me explain.  In my 60s I encountered some changes in where we served and how we contributed that I did not initiate.  They came to me as a health crisis at 58 which has redefined my physical limits and opened new doors.  Others came from a reduction in force circumstance where my position was terminated.  I needed to not only choose positive next steps but also to put the trigger events in a proper perspective and learn from what God had allowed to touch my life.

Worship, private — often included times with my wife and a few close friends and my journal to capture insights. Worship has become adoring God in a tension of holding two truths.  First, He is INFINITE and Second, He is INTIMATE.  INFINITE  worship includes music, being near the ocean, and focusing on Scripture where God’s control and capacity to redeem anything and everything He allows to touch me.  In INFINITE worship I am seeking to see what He is saying and the work He is doing in and through me in those circumstances where you know you are not in control.  INFINITE worship causes thoughts to flash through my mind like when you are driving and begin to slide on ice.  You just hold on to see what will happen next!  I don’t ask God why me.  I just assume my big God can be trusted with the outcomes.

INFINITE WORSHIP also changed my idea of what moments needed God’s clear and special leading.  In those younger years it was what I saw as telescopic sized big life changing decisions on marriage, moves, and work.  But the infinite ONE  is also involved with the microscopic decisions — the daily provision and how to respond to a hurting person in my path or closer to the number of hairs on my head.  God can also direct specifically and guide to a special choice in some of those moments.  I am NOT saying every day God “tells me” what to eat or wear.  But in a given decision on that level GOD can and sometimes does direct a small step. 

Here is an example.  In August of this past year I chose a place to sit by the pool for me and Pandora.  We swam and read and rested but I became very aware of an older couple who sat close by.  I could tell by overhearing their conversation that they were new to our development.  As we got up to leave they were both seated as we walked by.  I initiated a conversation and suddenly there was an open door to connect more deeply and now they are involved with us and other Christians and we can assist them some with the care for the husband declining in dementia.  The lady said sometime later that our meeting at the pool was an answer to her prayers when she had made the major move from up North, and it was a “God moment”.  So perhaps what my INFINITE God sees as a weighty choice is sometimes different from my telescopic and microscopic definitions of life choices.

When I worship God in INTIMACY it is often focused on the indwelling presence of Christ in me in the person of the Holy Spirit.  I have an illustration of how my view of His personal presence in my life has changed.  When you travel there are two basic approaches to getting assistance.  You can engage a Travel Agent or a Tour Guide.  The Agent helps you plan and offers ideas and looks for deals to save you money and fit your goals.  A packet is delivered from the Agent and he waves as off you go.  The Tour Guide makes the trip with you.  He is present for every circumstance you encounter in the trip.  He has the plan and often adjusts it on the fly as the situations on the ground shift.  You choose to let the Guide lead.  But he is the constant experienced and able Guide.  The Holy Spirit is our Tour Guide not our Travel Agent.

As I begin a new year I often stop and look back through journals to help me remember how the infinite and intimate One has shaped my DOING and my BEING.  I do not offer these as an example but just a testimony of how He whispers as we walk together as friends.  The following excerpts were selected from my journals.  This is perhaps the most transparent and vulnerable material I have ever shared.  May God use it to encourage you.

2016 undated but after June 30 leaving from serving Jesus by teaching in a seminary for 20 years.  Acts 1:8 will be the compass for me and Pandora. “The Holy Spirit will give us power to witness locally, regionally and globally.”

09/04/2017 “Lord, write over my life,  MINE.”  Oswald Chambers

03/11/19 Pandora to me as we walked on the beach.  “We WILL finish well!  As we stay on track by not being consumed with self, being generous, and remembering this is not our home.”

06/13/19 “Let God be as original with others as He is with you.”  Oswald Chambers

11/19/19 – From Christ in me to my heart.  “Roy, please deliver the mail Jesus sends to others.  It will be words of encouragement, perspective and clarity for their life.”

11/26/19 – Roy you are not too busy but you are limited.  Focus on the inputs into your life and let me (Jesus) handle the outcomes.  God is blessing me every day with what I need for the day.  So I am free to live in contentment, joy, and relaxed confidence.

12/18/19 – God, your priority is my heart.  What is my love life?  PRESENCE – Be where you are.  Be HIS every moment.  ATTENTIVE – Be available and packed for any assignment.  Travel through life lightly.

02/14/20 – From Jesus.  “Roy, prayer is the most important gift I have given you to love others and unleash My power in their lives.”

09/01/2020 – “I sense a call to pray with intensity, solitude, and writing.”  — One week later I tested positive for Coronavirus and Pandora and I have had health struggles slowing us down since then.

09/7/20 “Roy, be a light and not a judge.  Be a model and not a critic.”

Undated // late September – Renewing my Calling – WHAT?  Be with Jesus in silence and solitude.  Love others starting with prayer.  Write out of my heart and what God gives me to share.  HOW? Daily receiving from Him and then giving out in His name.  Avoid complacency and being easily satisfied by buying toys and playing too much.  Be Available to go, do, say or give whatever God offers opportunities to do.  (Acts 22:10) Be Attentive and Accessible by making space for God’s interruptions and opening up His invitations.

01/03/21 “We gain more ground if we focus on habits rather than goals and do so one day at a time.” Mark Batterson

01/27/21 Ephesians 2:10 — From my point of view as I age, life seems to be closing in on me. I feel smothered.  Limits increase and I am in danger of defining myself by what I can no longer do.  BUT, this is not God’s perspective.  He has prepared and prepackaged good fruitful works for me to walk in.  Where I see loss and shrunken capacity God sees space and clarified focused opportunities.

03/17/21 God has two addresses: Infinite and Intimate.

03/17/21 Where do I live?  I live on a battleground with the flesh, the devil and the world.  Don’t be surprised by the fight.  Wake up each day expecting spiritual conflict.

Undated but in 2021 — My timeline is too short.  The impact of my life is longer than my life span.  I plant a garden but will never get to see it in full bloom.  Kingdom life is colored with the eternal.

Undated but Nov 2021 — Ephesians 1:11-12 God is sovereign over all He allows to touch my life.

11/04/21 – A new journal!!!! A new day!!! Today is the ten year anniversary since my life was changed because of a severe allergic reaction to a medication.  God has redeemed my life and given me another decade!!!


  1. Physically — increase exercise from 2 to 4 days a week  (still recovering from what Covid took out)
  2. Scripture — nourish my soul
  3. Sing — Use Robertson’s collection of his favorite hymns
  4. Cultivate intimacy with  Pandora
  5. Listen better and talk less.
  6. Added 11/28/21 – When I wake up each day live with assurance, confidence and anticipation.  Unwrap God’s fresh grace each day.

12/19/21 A very personal and powerful whisper of the Spirit to my heart.  I have tried to capture it clearly.

God’s assignments for me

  • Give thanks and rejoice in every opportunity He gives me.
  • Don’t apologize for what I am no longer doing.
  • Don’t demean or devalue what I am doing now.
  • Be fully committed to do what I do with love and quality.
  • Don’t defend what I reduce or stop doing or what I start doing.
  • Stop wrestling with the lie “I am not doing enough.”
  • Live in relaxed readiness trusting the Spirit to be perfectly able to communicate God’s assignments with enough clarity and detail for me to act.

01/01/22 — My heart may fail, and my spirit grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.  Psalm 73:26 NLT 


Growing Healthy Organizations with Pyramids and Webs

I love coaching leaders. I surely learn more than I contribute through walking with clients in their questions and challenges.

Recently I have been working in a fast growing organization seeking to restruucture for the rapid additions of new employees. It has caused me to revisit a book on building organizations by empowering people to web throughout the organziation.

If you are starting from scratch building your organization by a web design may be the way to go. Perhaps my article attached and the book I mention will get you started.

But what about an existing organization built as a pyramid over its first 20 years. Is there a way to use dual vision of a pyramid laying on a web to enjoy the benefits of both designs?

Read my article and let me know your thoughts.


Practicing Reconciliation

God’s People and Reconciliation

Unity and Reconciliation of the Church Part 2


This lesson will outline some of the biblical commands we are to obey as we love one another.  You will focus on your personal responsibility to follow clear biblical commands instead of your family or cultural practices.

All good theology is relational not simply propositional.

All of my problems in life, at their root, are relational.

Main ideas

  1. The First Step

When there is a break in the experience of Christ like love between people reconciliation rests on someone taking the first step.  To begin reconciliation involves going face to face, offering words that describe the sin or offense and giving or receiving forgiveness.

God took the first step in reconciling with us.  Romans 5:10-11; 2 Corinthians 5:17-21; Ephesians 2:13-21.  The death of Christ was not only a sin sacrifice it also broke down barriers of racial distance and formed God’s people as “one”.

We are to take the first step.

Matthew 18:15-20 – If you recognize you have been sinned against before the other person you are to GO.

Matthew 5:23-26 – If you are in worship and realize you sinned against someone you are to leave worship and GO.

To grow spiritually will always involve repentance or movement toward God’s truth, grace, and love.  The steps of repentance always involve:

  • Exposure — bringing light on my current attitudes, words or behaviors.
  • Disruption — Accepting that the current life choices are never going to produce the love, joy, peace and freedom God intends for his reconciled children.
  • Enticement — Moving toward and accepting God’s grace and truth and finding his Spirit in us gives us the capacity to forgive and rebuild relationships.

Jesus lived in a shame based culture which frequently avoided direct confrontation and devised indirect channels to communicate.  But even in this culture Jesus says God’s plan is for us to GO to one another.

We  don’t avoid the person and talk to others about the break.  As my mentor Roberston McQuilkin told from his experience as a missionary in Japan, “THE ABSENT ARE SAFE WITH US.”

  1. What if the separation is not over a sinful wounding but is a strong disagreement?  Again, Robertson had a question to guide him as President of Columbia International University, “Do I want to win or do I want to see healing and repairing of the gap?”

1 Corinthians 6:5-8 The example Paul gives is a financial disagreement but I believe the principles apply to many disagreements.  There are two options.

First, The disagreeing people agree to submit to and accept the judgement of a wise person in the church.  They each present their perspective and then live by the ruling of the wise fellow believer.

Second, If there is no acceptable person of wisdom present then Paul’s approach is, “Unity and loving one another is such a basic foundational rule of BEING God’s people then volunteer to take the loss.  Just let it go.  Give it up.  And move on to restore the love.  Surrender personal rights for the sake of the community.  A challenging idea for us hyper individualists.


There will be some more parts to this series and I will also add videos.

You can begin by doing your study of the passages I have highlighted and then begin to look carefully at past and present breaks in unity. 

If you missed part one here is the link to the handout.  


discipleship, Resources, Uncategorized

My Country of Birth Is Now a Foreign Cross-Cultural place. Help me!!

I am turning 66 in a few days. It seems my homeland, The United States of America, no longer feels like a safe place. My wife and I have traveled to several countries to live for short periods of time. And we have many friends from the States who live long term in these other countries. These friends have shared openly with us the challenge of being the outsiders and walking with humility in order to build bridges of love with the people around them. They are constantly asking questions, welcoming advice that is very contrary to their opinions and it touches every aspect of how they live.

  • A wife rides in the back seat of the car and also walks several feet behind her husband.
  • You never put ice in a drink — even though it is tropical hot….
  • You must not let your children play outside in the rain
  • You must only drink after you finish eating.
  • There is no special foods for breakfast… you eat leftovers from supper.
  • How to greet someone.


Strangers in Covidland

by EDITOR on JUNE 10, 2020

by Katie Hoffmann

Blurry-eyed after 36 hours of flying with kids, we handed over our passports. The customs official returned a hearty, “Welcome Home.” 

Those words felt almost digestible as we entered the Seattle International Airport after years overseas working for a Christian non-profit. Although we were grieving all the goodbyes, I felt ready to embrace my country of origin once again. 

Despite my best intentions, reverse culture shock struck in a big way. We had little to no training in re-entry. This left me feeling paralyzed by stuff that should be easy like trying to keep kids quiet in the library or driving on the right side of the road. 

After three years stateside, I’ve gladly regained those skills, but occasionally, I fall flat and feel overwhelmed by culture shock again. 

Recently, we moved again to a new country, except this time our passport wasn’t stamped. It was a sudden departure without glamour and thankfully no cobras. Here’s the funny part: We haven’t even left our house except for one of us who is deemed an “essential worker.” 

Covidland is my new country and once again I must reorient. 

Actions I once thought were normal like talking to a person nearby now have both different implications and results. The way people greet each other is foreign. Elbows? A curtsy? This feels awkward. Can I just use a southeast Asian greeting? 

Classes are now on new platforms of technology. My kids are expected to learn technical culture, as we parents wade through murky waters of Internet security with youngsters. But, unlike with Zoom we can’t mute all the static, conspiracy theories, rude language and stuff that hits us on all ends during this unique time. Divisive warfare is erupting all around me. To relate in this new country is requiring deflecting skills, because the arrows of mindless attack are piercing our community. 

I’m dumbfounded as I find myself jerked between a polarized nation offering two heated sides of opinion and the irony of 40 different cereal choices. Sides have been drawn without healthy nuance, and I’d like to bury my head in my cereal but I can’t. 

I’m exhausted. 

I’m regretting not getting more pre-field training, but some moves happen too fast and necessitate learning on the job. 

As I pull my face out of my Coco Puffs, I remind myself that I must not become complacent no matter which country I reside in. We as the church can never stop being a student of the culture around us. We don’t get a free pass on cultural understanding just because we have a right to act a certain way. 

In a society that for too long has defined churches by buildings and programs, we can easily forget that God’s main directives have not changed and despite a lot of changes around us, we are not banned from loving our neighbor or even sharing the gospel. 

How I interact in my new country and culture will ultimately open or close doors to people’s receptiveness to the Gospel message. 

So I ask the hard questions… 

In a nation that is so often an either/or nation can we choose to be a both/and person? Can we bridge to people in many different groups? 

Can we care about American liberties and still choose to wear a face mask to a store no matter where we stand on the issue? Yes. Can we support small business and physically distance to show care for the more at-risk folks? Yes. Can we request our state government reassess our phases of local reopening and do it in a way that respects others? Yes. Can we both disagree with someone’s opinion and support their family? Yes. Can we do this all in a loving way? Yes! 

As believers we need to be keeping the main thing the main thing. Yes, I know, loving the multitude of neighbors can and will feel stretching and uncomfortable, because culture bridging is real. I’ve experienced that in my home state and overseas. Overseas, dressing in long pants and sleeves in 90-degree tropical weather felt horrid at times, but I knew my neighbors would disrespect me and it would not be loving to disrespect the people around me in conservative Muslim regions by wearing shorts and a tank top. I gladly sweated for the opportunity to connect with those in my community. 

Will we gladly wear a mask into a store and not tear apart the store clerks who are simply enforcing what they’ve been told to do? Just like in my experience overseas, clothes are contextual. In situations where others are uncomfortable it behooves me to be sensitive to that. In other cases where people don’t care, it then becomes my own choice based on research. 

Culture stretching and culture shock happen even when people look the same and own the same passport. It can be more difficult and blindsiding because when we look alike we expect to have the same internal wiring, but we often don’t. Might I be so bold as to say many of us are sliding into culture shock? 

If we aren’t careful culture shock will cause us to attack the neighbor instead of bridging the gap. Because let’s be frank, we’ve all moved to a new land and you are well past phase one of culture shock. The homemade bread- making and binge-watching Netflix is over. You have moved on and if you aren’t careful you won’t pull past it without a lot of destruction. 

Store workers and government officials will not forget your face if you, in a fit of rage, mock or tear them apart. If you reach out later to them to share the message of Christ’s redeeming love, good luck. 

I’ll never forget the day in Southeast Asia when another mother chastised me for letting my daughter play out in the rain. “Illness doesn’t come from dirt or germs! It comes from the rain and wind.” She scolded me. 

I was struggling with culture shock that week and I wanted to do things MY way. I took a deep breath and said, “Thank you for caring about my kids. I’m new here and still learning.” I knew at that moment I had a right to let my daughter play in the rain. I had a right to my own free speech. I hated to be chastised by another woman, but I swallowed my pride. My words needed to reflect our human connection and not a state of winning. 

Let us not forget our humanity. Let us be mindful of how we approach the ever-shifting cultures around us. No matter where you stand on how things are operating in Covidland, let your actions and words build bridges and not walls. 

We are all new here and we are all still learning.



THIS is not right!

Many, make that most of the people in the Bible had good reasons to declare, “This is not right!”  or “This is unjust!” or “This is not fair!” or This is WRONG!

Joseph could have said it over his treatment by his brother and imprisonment by his boss.

David could have said it over his relationship with King Saul or his son Absalom.

Ruth could say it while burying her husband and her sons in a foreign land.

Jesus could have said it about the person slapped in the face.

Jesus could have said it as he was beaten and crucified.

Paul could have said it from prison.

Paul could have said it from being shipwrecked.

John could have said it while imprisoned on the island.


Joseph said he would rather forgive because God took what was intended as evil and used it for good.

David said he would trust God by waiting for God to make him king and God would deal with King Saul.

Ruth saw God bless her with a child and give Naomi a grandson to cuddle.

Jesus said to turn the other cheek.

Jesus said, Father forgive them.  They do not know what they are doing.

Paul said persecution gave him the opportunity to fellowship in the sufferings of Jesus.

John said God came to him on his island prison and revealed the future so he could comfort and challenge the church.

Read 1 Peter 2:21-3:6.  Slaves being treated unjustly and wives with prideful husbands who refuse to acknowledge Jesus are to pour love and respect into their relationships.  The example they should ask God to help them be like is seen in Jesus.

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. . . you must follow in his steps. . . . He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered.  He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.”  (1 Peter 2: 21 and 23 portions, NLT)

How we respond when we are treated unjustly is a great opportunity to love as God loves and to show off the new life given when we had our spiritual birth.

BEING TREATED UNFAIRLY?  How can you love the troubling person/enemy?  Unfair treatment is a great opportunity to let the light shine. 

discipleship, Healthy Leaders, Uncategorized

God’s View on My Fear

YES — We are living in days of uncertainty and restrictions. YES — It is challenging to even know who or what our hindrances and challenges are around us. YES — There are many conversations and news stories that stimulate a spirit of anxiety.

Try this for a response to your fear filled heart.

Psalm 2 — YES — there are enemies and rebellion against God alive and well in the world — but the call is to humble surrender and trust before the King

Psalm 131 — YES — there many decisions we face that feel overwhelming but we can talk to our soul and invite it to be with trust and hope in God like a weaned child with his/her Mom.

My Grandson – Abel – a weaned child! Can I rest in God’s arms like this!

Philippians 4: 6-7 — Be deeply aware of our anxiety and inability to make plans for just a few weeks out — can bring bring me to a place of calling out to and naming all of our concerns to our God. One can only really recognizes a suddenly calming in the air when we have been walking in a strong wind. One only recognizes an inner peace from God’s touch when we have been in a very anxious unsettled place.

1 Peter 2:11-12 — We are not the first to be in days of challenge, loss and uncertainty. There is a vision of how God is our safe place in these two verses which stirs up quiet hope. Here are a few phrases from The Message New Testament.

'Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles (WHERE IS OUR TRUE HOME ADDRESS?  THERE IS NO CV19 VIRUS IN THE KINGDOM) to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. (IF YOU ARE HOME AND AWAY FROM A NORMAL RHYTHM AND ACCOUNTABILITY -- BE ON GUARD WITH WHAT YOU SET BEFORE YOURSELF.) Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds (EVEN IN THIS CLIMATE THERE ARE GOOD DEEDS THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL PROMPT US TO SEE AND CREATIVE IDEAS ON HOW TO STEP OUT AND BE THE HANDS OF A LOVING GOD) and glorify God on the day of visitation. ' 

What helps you see fearful stuff from God’s perspective? Share your best thoughts.



If I can serve you in coaching, consulting or training let me know

Roy King (age 65)
Married to Pandora since 1976.
Two adult married children and three grandchildren
American Church – Pastor of Mission, Senior Pastor
Seminary – 27 years as Professor of Leadership at CIU and Staff in Development, Financial Aid and Alumni
Non-Profit Organizations – Cru, Billy Graham Center, MTI board member, Streams of Living Water
Contribution: Leadership Coaching, Organizational Consulting, Adult Training for 30+ years / 10 countries
Primary Function: Launch a new work, Rework a declining or plateaued work, Self-Leadership Coach


Sermon – Grieving = Saying “Goodbye”

I had the opportunity to preach Sunday August 11 at Seacoast Vineyard Church in Myrtle Beach, SC. Pandora and I share briefly about our work in the Arab world and then I preached.

The main idea: Change will always result in loss and all losses must be grieved.

What is the first instance of grieving in the Bible? See Genesis 6:6.

What is God’s purpose for giving us the coping skill, a means of grace in grieving?

Here is a link to the entire service. May God use it so his church grieves with hope!